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What are you Mr. Putin?

2/5/2015

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Picture
I know what he is.  Following is info taken from such 'reliable' sources as Internet, CNN, NBC, Fox News etc. as well as Ms. Psaki of State Dept, Australian prime-minister whatchamacallit and other secret sources.

What Mr. Putin likes (300 Chinese likes of Mr. Putin):

1. He likes to fly on military jets (you will know why below)

2. He likes to sail on military submarines (you will know why below)

3. He likes to sail on military ships (you will know why below)

4. He likes to ride on tanks (you will know why below)

5. He likes to shoot weapons (you will know why below)

6. He likes to ski in the mountains (you will know why below)

7. He likes to hunt (this is his spying disguise. He wants to look like us.)

8. He likes to fish (this is his spying disguise. He wants to look like us.)
9. He likes dogs (this is his spying disguise. He wants to look like us.)

10. He likes beautiful women (this is his spying disguise. He wants to look like us.)

11. He likes to scuba dive (this may be his cunning trick)

12. He likes to tame tigers (this may be his cunning trick)

13. He likes to fly with swans (this may be his cunning trick)

14. He likes to wear hand watch on the right hand (you see, his evil nature stands out)

15. He likes to sport Judo (he is getting ready to break necks of the good people)

16. He likes to give away billions of dollars taken from poor Russian people to his oligarch friends

17. He likes to cease independent countries

18. He likes to drop bombs on innocent people

19. He likes to defend dictators using chemical weapons upon their people

20. …

21. …

300. He likes to drink babies’ blood

Remark: list is incomplete. Mr. Putin likes much more than that.

What is Mr. Putin (mark what you like with a checkmark)? Better if you push the ‘Select All’ button.

1. Evil KGB spy.

2. Bloodthirsty scoundrel.

3. Desperate pedophile.

4. Aggressive rapist.

5. Multi-billion dollar thief.

6. Street corner robber.

7. Imperialist (bloody).

8. International pervert.

9. Plotting genius.

10. Cunning war monger.

11. Stock of envy.

12. Staunch fighter for all the bad and against all the good.

Feel free to add more if you want.

What Mr. Putin wants?

1. He wants Russia to dominate the world.

2. He secretly wants to marry Mrs. Clinton.

3. He wants to put a military base on Sweden’s island of Gotland.

4. He wants to get Ukrainian coal which is 6 to 10 times more expensive than Russian (his goal is to 

sell it to the Russian industry and rob the simple people who are at the same time enslaved and 

imperialistic).

5. He wants to invade the free Baltic republic of Latvia to get to Latvian sprouts (the smoked little 

fish that contains dangerous chemicals) and sell it to Russian people to poison them.

6. He wants to conquer the free Baltic republic of Estonia to cease their women’s lingerie (his 

current girlfriend said, “If you don’t get me their panties I will dump you and will start sleeping 

with Conchita Wurst. H/SHE (for biology lovers: this is a new most fashionable gender 

pronounced as heshe) is a better winner than you are”).

7. He wants to conquer free Poland and appropriate its apples. And its coal too (which is 6 to …).

8. He wants to annex free republic of Georgia (for geography lovers: not the US Georgia, which is 

also a republic but free for the moment) in order to confiscate its mineral waters and deprave 

them of their freedom (that’s why he skied in the mountains close to the free republic of 

Georgia, he was looking for the best positions to bomb their capital).

9. He wants to invade free Ukraine and put that scoundrel Yanukowitz back into power.

10. Also he wants to arrest babushka Merkel and make her serve him in the imperialist Kremlin 

instead of serving her Mutterland.

11. He also wants to suppress freedom everywhere and install autocracy and dictatorship.

12. He wants to uproot all the good and plant all the bad everywhere in the world.

13. He wants the Australian prime-minister whatchamacallit to face him in a Judo fight and break 

his neck.

14. As well he wants to invade the free Australia with his tanks, and submarines and tear to pieces 

their freedom.

15. In France he wants to grab their wines, in Italy their pasta, his sweet dreams to get the famous 

English cuisine. That’s why he planted the ‘fifth column of Russian oligarchs who stole 

everything they could lay their hands on from Russian people’ into the heart of civilized Britain. 

He wants to eat English steaks with blood every day in his Kremlin lair.

16. From Spain he wants their guitars. Analyze this, what could be better than to see belly dances 

performed by Moroccan girls and the unemployed Spanish musicians playing their hot music in 

the imperialist Kremlin by candlelight!

17. He wants to destroy peace on the globe by encircling the USA with his tanks and submarines and 

take the free State of Georgia (this time the US Georgia).

18. He wants to install the imperialist dictatorship across the whole world with himself on top and 

issue orders, orders, and orders non-stop.

19. In short, he wants MORE just like in the TV ad.

20. His most sacred, crystal dream of his youth is to conquer Brazil, put shining white pants, and

start strolling along the main street in Rio-De-Janeiro up and down, up and down. Together with 

Italian Mr. Berlusconi hand in hand.

How do we stop evil Mr. Putin and his lieutenants from committing more crimes against humanity?

1. Kill them. And dump their bodies into the ocean.

2. Arrest them and lock them in Guantanamo Bay Detention Center for lifetime.

3. Put them to the International Court trial and sentence them to life in prison without parole.

4. Poison them.

5. Bomb them.

6. Cut them to pieces (just like Mr. Kaddafi of Libya. For geography lovers: Libya is a country in 

Africa. Africa is a continent.)

7. Hang them by the neck until dead (just like Mr. Saddam Hussein in Iraq. For geography lovers: 

Iraq is a country in the Near East).

8. Electrocute them.

9. Ah, forgot! Burn them alive (just like in Odessa. For geography lovers: Odessa is a city in the 

south of Ukraine. For Ms. Psaki: Ukraine is a country in Eastern Europe. You may get details of 

where Eastern Europe is from your office). And declare that they burned them themselves.

10. Put them through the guillotine.

11. Suspend them by their vital organs.

12. Cut their hearts out.

13. Sanction them until they die of hunger together with evil Russian people who support them in 

their wrongdoings.

14. Eat their livers. (Mr. Mobutu Sese Seko Kuku Ngbenge Va Za Banga our beloved bastard who 

fought the evil Russia some time ago gave us an excellent example).

15. Behead them (learned from ISIS).

16. Put them into cells and walk naked girls in front of them (just like in Abu Ghraib prison).

17. Slaughter their wives and children in front of them. There are many good examples.

18. Torture them.

Please select from the above list no more than three punishments. It costs money, you know. We have 

to save during these harsh times. If you select more than three punishments, please donate. Or, we have 

to send the bills of execution costs for the payment by their relatives and this is very inhumane.

by Lyudmila Filatova
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